Why I Think Kingdom Come: Deliverance Will Be A Sh*t Game

Daniel Vávra, director of Kingdom Come: Deliverance, posted the picture below on his Facebook timeline back in November 2017. According to our resident Czech speaker it says, “Some people asked me whether there will be outhouses. Not sure why they ask, but here is the answer…”

Daniel Vavra Facebook Post

So there you go: apparently, you can even go number two in the game. In a previous post I wrote about how hyper-realistic Kingdom Come will be, but this goes beyond the pale. There are survival mechanics in many games today, where you have to eat, drink, sleep; and that was all expected in Kingdom Come too, but outhouses where you can sit and shit? That is definitely new to me. I can’t think of any other game where that is a possibility.

Well, in The Sims there is the general toilet need, but it’s all very aseptic and censored; in Duke Nukem Forever it is possible to use a urinal; in Postal 2 you can urinate on anything; in Dead Rising restrooms are just save points. There are quite a few games where you can flush a toilet, but not actually go number one and definitely not number two. Drinking toilet water in Fallout 3/4 doesn’t count. So I believe this is something unprecedented in a game.

There is an episode of Generation Kill where the squad leader talks about the importance of defecating before military encounters: “If it’s too hard or too soft, something’s not right. You might have a problem that affects combat readiness.” And from what I’ve read about the combat in Kingdom Come, about how realistic and immersive it is, I wouldn’t be surprised if you need brown trousers in case you forget to take care of business before battle.

I apologise for the clickbait headline, but we couldn’t help it. As I said in my previous post, I really look forward to the game; my gut tells me it will be a great game, not a shit game at all. But it just so happens it will probably have some shit in it.

Written by: Richard Costa

Ape meets keyboard. Hack for hire, recovering academic, poor man’s polymath, and RPG enthusiast who started gaming on MSX in the late 80s, then witnessed the glorious 90s on PC. Probably would eat your flesh in a survival situation.


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